Can you imagine trying to build a house without tools? Similarly, developing self-awareness without a toolkit is an intimidating feat. Having a trusted toolkit we can go to in times of need or assistance is a vital part of the journey in growing self-awareness.
And now that we have learned a bit of the process, it's time we learn about the tools to help us on our way.
Self-awareness can be helpful through knowing yourself better to lead yourself better. It's in aligning conscious and subconscious realities to produce health through a life of integrity and alignment.
In understanding that self-awareness as a worthy endeavor that is both practical and attainable, we also need to address the process that makes it actionable.
Self-awareness isn't some state of perfection acquired only by the enlightened gurus. It is knowing yourself well enough that you can lead yourself down the path that is best for you, and those around you.
Self-awareness revolves around the idea of integrity: of being the person you say you are or the person you are striving to be.
Similar to trees, discipline is a structure that produces much fruit. This fruit can be categorically summed up in one word: freedom. We all know and acknowledge that with discipline comes growth, but rarely do we recognize that with it also comes freedom - full freedom in performance and authentic expression.
Freedom is the fruit that discipline produces.
The ultimate goal is to become addicted to the right things, to the things that produce health, joy, and happiness for us and those around us.
If we are to be successful at changing our ways, at becoming addicted to the right things, at developing discipline around our choices and actions, we must begin with a baby step, not some giant leap.
Discipline never happens by chance. We must choose it.
Not only must we choose discipline, we must put in the work needed to validate and affirm that choice. Discipline is something that requires both effort and intention. The intention—the reason why— and the effort —the gritting of our teeth and the clenching of the fists as we brace ourselves for the hard work that awaits.
Emotions are not a great foundation for living, but discipline is. Following the path of our feelings is not a recipe for success, despite what is often sold to us through endless marketing and sales tactics.
Discipline is the necessary foundation for a life well-lived, and we would all benefit from building our lives on the sturdy foundation it creates.
Discipline solidified its place in my life during the years I competed as a professional golfer. Since then, I’ve begun to realize how crucial discipline is for living an honorable life.
In order to get where we want to go, in order to become who we want to be, in order to live as we ought to live, we must step back onto the court and commit to the beautiful practice of discipline.
Our country was built on this idea and ideal of independence, but the part we forget to acknowledge is that independence was only possible for our country through interdependence of the individuals within it. We aren’t created to be independent but rather interdependent.
We are relational beings, and to pursue independence is an exercise in missing the point, setting ourselves up for failure.
Looking back on the past 2-3 years of my life, I see two different narratives that compete throughout the weeks and months along the way.
The first narrative is one of willfulness.
The second narrative is one of willingness.
What is it that we like about “sameness?” Isn’t funny that we as adults tend to be much more attracted to sameness than kids? For some reason, the older we grow, the more group-ish we become. What comes from our group-ish tendencies? Does that produce positive results? And ultimately, why does it even matter?
We’ve got our work cut out for us in this one…
Noticing is an art.
In our modern world, especially in western society, we are very skilled at noticing what’s wrong, noticing what’s missing, noticing what we don’t like about a person or situation. But finding the good? Noticing what’s positive? Discovering the silver lining? Yeah, that’s something we’re quite weak in.
We need each other. We need to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. Living in family and being a part of community are the primary ways we accomplish this innate desire within our hearts.
When change comes, we desperately need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to high-five, a body to hug, an ear to talk to, a person to redirect our attention toward, a perspective from a different view. The experience of change is drastically different when in community versus isolation.
Change can be scary, uncomfortable, intimidating, chaotic, unscripted, sporadic, and eventful to say the least. In the same breath, it can be exhilarating, exciting, growing, and enlightening. Change is neutral, a “choose your own adventure” of sorts.
What we do with it is the result that can be either good or bad. So, how are you going to use it?
If fear leads to assumptions, then love leads to believing.
Choosing to live out of love instead of fear helps us thrive in the midst of uncertainty. More importantly, it opens up the door for us to believe the best instead of assume the worst.
Change is an unsettling force in our lives. A storm that threatens to dislodge us from our foundation. Change is all around us and is being felt by humanity more than I have ever experienced in my lifetime.
Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is to show and extend more grace to yourself (and others) especially in tumultuous times of change.
Change is more consciously present in our world than ever before (in my lifetime at least). The question is: how do we embrace change?
Regardless of how much change we are going through, we can always remain grounded by practicing our daily rhythms or our cornerstone habits that keep our lives in place.
Change isn’t comfortable. It feels like a foreign land. It feels like we are never able to get our bearings straight. It feels like rain when wanting sunshine, heat when wanting a respite, sugar when wanting substance. It’s an uncomfortable place...
But what is it really?
As humans we crave order, balance, wholeness, stability, predictability — symmetry. Asymmetries are correlated with chaos, with feelings of imbalance, imperfection, brokenness, or unnecessary complexities.
Symmetries help bring a sense of calm, order, and peace to our lives that promotes human flourishing by design. But is life really symmetrical? Is balance even possible?
Writing, what an interesting thing. Taking thoughts in our head and putting them down onto a piece of paper (or typing them onto an electronic screen). This thing called writing was something I used to despise. I was a numbers-guy, through and through.
Now, this isn’t a story where “one day, it all changed…,” in fact, it didn’t all change until years after I began writing.
