Discipline: Never By Chance
This is a blog-series on the idea of discipline. Discipline solidified its place in my life during the years I competed as a professional golfer. Since then, I’ve begun to realize how crucial discipline is for living an honorable life, for living a life worthy of the calling to which we've been called. Because of my growing belief in this necessity, I created an 8-week online course titled: Never Settle | Developing Discipline. I’d be honored to have you join this journey alongside me as we each strive to instill discipline as a part of our being.
Have you ever floated on a raft, boat, or inner-tube down a river? Going on a float is one of those good-ol-days type of activities. It's leisurely with a tinge of excitement. The only hard work that's required is some planning on how to arrange drop-off and pick-up. Other than that, you can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
Floating a river is not very similar to life.
In life, if we choose to go downstream and follow the path of least resistance, we usually won't end up where we want to be, and most of the time there isn't someone waiting there to pick you up.
Life is hard, and in order to take life head-on, we often have to pick up our paddles and go up the path of most resistance, upstream. This is the role of discipline. This is the work that's required in order to live a good life.
“Hope floats but effort propels.” ― Rob Liano
Not Choosing vs. Choosing
We often hear the phrase: "not making a choice is a choice," and that is true. But what I would add is: "not making a choice is choosing the worse choice." By not choosing (either due to laziness or not knowing which to choose), we will always default to the path of least resistance.
No one ran a marathon by not choosing to do so.
No one did the grueling work of writing and publishing a book without choosing to do so.
No one had a great relationship with their partner without choosing to do so.
No one was able to acquire a skill without choosing to do so.
Our propensity to not choose is one of the greatest limiting factors in our lives, and there is a simple solution that can change the trajectory of our lives in massive ways.
“Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing.” — Laurie Buchanan
How To Choose
In order to choose, we must have a reason why we make the choice. That reason why has to be infused with belief—meaning, we must believe that it is worth the sacrifice of time, effort, energy, resources to do it. Being able to make a choice filled with and backed by belief means we must also have a greater purpose that we are living attached and aligned to.
One of the ways we can help ourselves make the decision is by creating a sense of urgency around it. If your raft is floating downstream and there is a dock passing by on the shore you that need to get to, there will be an immediate sense of urgency that floods in your system as you pick up your paddle and begin furiously rowing towards that shoreline. This sense of urgency can be real or imagined, and both can be powerful. The future is unknown by all, so any future goal can create an imagined sense of urgency, just as much as the reflection on the finite time we have remaining here on earth is for each human being.
The other reminder we need in learning how to choose is that, if it is meant to be, it is always up to you and it is up to me. No one else will be able to sit on your shoulder and help you make proactive choices throughout your day. The responsibility always falls directly on your shoulders, not on anyone else's. You must make the decision for your self.
Yet, in making decisions and choosing to go upstream, we must carry realistic expectations about the difficulty of what awaits. No one wants to head into a marathon thinking they are just going for a casual jog around the block. Having unrealistic expectations set us up for failure and often lead to us defaulting back to the path of least resistance in short fashion.
Which brings up the necessary elements for developing the muscle of proactive choosing: commitment and resolve. There will be days when you don't feel like doing anything; days when your whole body is yearning for the path of least resistance; days when others are even encouraging you to sit back on your laurels and default to not making any choices. These are the days when commitment and resolve earn their keep, when they show their true colors, because these are the days when making a choice matters most.
What Is The Choice?
Discipline is that choice we are talking about. Discipline is the path of most resistance. Discipline is a proactive, conscious choice that leads to a destination we all want to reach: freedom.
Discipline never happens by chance. We will not default into it. We won't happen to naturally develop it by floating downstream. It won't magically appear on our doorstep and become our best friend without any actions or choices on our part. We must choose it.
Not only must we choose discipline, we must put in the work needed to validate and affirm that choice. Discipline is something that requires both effort and intention. The intention-piece is the reason why—the explicit choice we make. Effort is the gritting of our teeth and the clenching of the fists as we brace ourselves for the hard work that awaits and the exertion that is inevitably required.
“We do not control outcomes and are not responsible for them, but only for our contribution to them.” — Dallas Willard
Remember
The one idea we all need to remember is this simple truth: discipline never happens by chance. It is easy to talk about, nice to think about, fun to dream about, but the doing is where it becomes reality. And reality isn't a fairytale. Reality takes work. Reality requires discipline.
Choosing the path of most resistance isn't some masochistic pursuit—it's not choosing discipline to suffer. It is saying that discipline is the choice that leads to the place I want to be and puts me on the path I want to go.
Success doesn't happen by chance, and discipline doesn't either.
“Most enjoyable activities are not natural; they demand an effort that initially one is reluctant to make. But once the interaction starts to provide feedback to the person’s skills, it usually begins to be intrinsically rewarding.” ― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
