CHANGE, Reminder #1 - Cornerstones Are A Grounding Force
As you heard in part one, change is an integral part of being human. Not only is it a part of the human experience called life, it is especially a part of our current times with the COVID-19 pandemic taking place before our very eyes.
Change is more consciously present in our world than ever before (in my lifetime at least).
The question is: how do we embrace change? How do we live well in light of change, especially if we are not used to it?
The point I tried to make in the first installment of this series on change is that we are on the necessary seesaw of life, going from change to consistency and back and forth. In order to embrace this seesaw as a part of being human, there are reminders we need to help us have a healthy mindset and a proper perspective of change.
The first reminder that I need (and I will venture to presuppose that you do as well), is: regardless of how much change we are going through, we can always remain grounded by practicing our daily rhythms or our cornerstone habits that keep our lives in place.
What Is The Benefit?
This reminder can be beneficial in many ways, but one of the greatest ways we benefit from it is by the empowering nature it brings. In the midst of change we often feel helpless, a few steps behind, like we have no choice but to be victims to what may come. This reminder’s real power comes through bringing ownership back to ourselves, providing actionable things we can all do to maintain some semblance of familiarity in an ocean of change.
Not only that, but it provides a great stabilizer in the most uncertain of times… and we don’t need a virus to show us that.
What A Cornerstone Is For
Cornerstones have been used since ancient times as a way to set the foundation of a building in place. By placing the cornerstone first, it would provide guidance for each of the following stones laid, setting the position for the entire structure. This picture is also widely used metaphorically throughout the Bible to show Jesus as the foundation stone for our lives.
The simple point is this: cornerstones keep your house in order.
In regards to change, cornerstone habits are the practices that keep your life in order.
What Cornerstone Habits Are For
When we become conscious of the life-long seesaw we are on, between change and consistency, we must remember the role and importance of having our cornerstone habits in place.
In times of immense change, we need a grounding force.
If change is the wind that gives a kite life, we must have the cornerstone habits as the string that keep the kite flying within our grasp—even if we can’t fully control where the wind blows it, we can still keep it within our possession.
Cornerstone habits not only ground us within the storms of change, they also provide us much needed consistency when virtually everything else lacks it. Change can be buffered by consistency in a way that makes the change much more palatable for our sensitive taste-buds.
Not only can cornerstone habits bring consistency, most importantly they bring a sense of empowerment and control, allowing us to feel more secure even if it is merely a feeling.
And more than that, cornerstone habits provide the chance for us to progress, in some shape or fashion, each and every day, especially in times when progress seems limited or near-impossible. The mathematics of little wins add up to big wins when practiced daily.
Cornerstone Habits 101
So how do we incorporate this reminder and tool into our daily lives? What if I have no clue what my cornerstone habits should be? Where do I even start?
The process always begins with a measure of reflection. I always encourage: a cup of coffee, a comfortable location, and a pen and paper to solve all the world’s problems (including the discovery of one’s cornerstone habits).
Questions to sit with for this process of self-discovery are:
— What practices have given me the most life?
— What grounds me in life? And why?
— If I had an extra hour every day, what would I use it on?
— What 10-minute exercise would impact every area of my life if I committed the time daily to it?
— What do I keep avoiding despite knowing its benefit?
— What often gets in the way of habits I know are good for me?
— What is the ideal time of day for incorporating each cornerstone habit? (can be specific to each habit)
— What excuses will get in the way of maintaining each cornerstone habit?
What's important with cornerstone habits is that you make them your own. Don’t look to others to provide you with your cornerstone habits, do the hard work of discovering what are the best habits for you, not for anyone else. They should be unique to your life just as much as each literal cornerstone is unique to the building being built upon it.
With that being said, one final strategy that I like to implement is the idea of book-ending your days—meaning, starting and ending your days in a consistent way that provides a semblance of symmetry and balance to the day itself, regardless of how hectic and chaotic it may turn out to be. This has been one of my longest-standing cornerstone habits, and it has continually provided me with stability regardless of the circumstances taking place in my life.
How Cornerstone Habits Can Help With Change
Cornerstone habits don’t only help with change, they help with consistency too. In fact, they help you begin to not have a preference in which side of the seesaw you end up on, because you know what won’t be changing in the midst of it all—the person you are committed to being and the practices you are committed to producing.
In regards to change, cornerstone habits provide a grounding force, consistency, empowerment, and an opportunity to make progress.
With so much uncertainty at hand, cornerstone habits have the power to reintroduce and infuse control and consistency back into your own hands. All it takes is a little discipline and commitment—ultimately living with integrity—being the person that you say you want to be.
So what are you waiting for?
Put the building in place, lay the foundation, set the cornerstones.
