A Person Of Depth, And Why They've Gone Missing

“You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.” — Evan Esar

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One of the most interesting books I've read in the past handful of years is a novel by Richard Powers titled "The Overstory." In the weaving narrative there is a character named "Neelay" who was crippled at a young age. As he grows older he becomes both disenchanted with the humans in our world and simultaneously enthralled with the endless possibilities available in a technological world. This drives him to build his life's work of creating a universe within a game that people can explore, create, and ultimately get lost in. It reaches such heights, with its imagery and possibility, that it becomes like a drug to those who play it. As the book comes to a close he begins to see, more and more, how the online/virtual experience will inevitably follow the "tyranny of the place it pretends to escape." (pg. 414, Powers)

When I was reflecting back on this portion of the book, it struck me that this very narrative is being played out in our present world. Have you heard of this thing called a "metaverse?" (Who hasn't at this point, thanks Facebook *Meta.) Combined with other tools like VR and AR, these new worlds provide escapes for us to run to and get lost in. But what are we truly escaping?

What is our world lacking? What is our modern age longing for? What does our culture need as a remedy?

I have a personal hunch that it's not the scenery we are drawn to in these new created universes (albeit they can be remarkable). I have a feeling that we are looking for something we aren't often finding here on earth. Something that resides beyond the surface, something that doesn't happen by chance, something that appears to be going extinct at an increasing rate, something that by escaping we only exacerbate...

I believe, a deep longing in our souls highlighted by this modern exodus is the desire for depth.

Depth Explained

At a simplistic and relatable level, depth refers to: the measure of how deep something goes. But, definitions aside, the concept itself is what's worth a deeper look.

Depth as a concept is helpful to us in many ways. The first and most obvious way is in measurement, in understanding principles such as volume, density, distance, etc. Moving past the mathematical, depth is also important when it comes to perception. Depth perception is the ability to perceive the world in three dimensions (which we are aided in by having two eyes - thanks God!). Taking it one step further, depth perception applies to more than what can be seen, helping us infer what can't be seen (e.g. Titanic). Depth helps us remember there is often much more beneath the surface, beyond what meets the eye.

The lessons we learn from the concept of depth help us know we can't read a book only by its cover, and we can't judge a person merely by how they present themselves. Depth helps us see we are complex individuals, shaped and formed by all the experiences in our lives that can never be fully quantified or packaged. It helps us not be as quick in jumping to conclusions. It helps us be patient in the long process of moving from knowledge to understanding to wisdom. Recognizing and acknowledging depth protects us against our evolutionary instincts to default to easy answers, and to shut-off our thinking brain once "right" and "wrong" have been properly categorized.

But what happens when depth goes missing? What happens when the presence of depth is no longer felt? What kind of world is produced when depth isn't valued?

Depth's Modern Exodus

This isn't hard to imagine. We have all experienced this to varying degrees as our world is increasingly characterized in these ways. Our modern dilemma presents us with this imposing challenge of a lack of depth, as well as an even greater challenge: a disappearing desire for seeking or cultivating more of it.

“What would we do if the stars only came out once every thousand years?  No one would sleep that night of course. We would be ecstatic, delirious, made rapturous by the glory of God. Instead, the stars come out every night and we watch television.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

How Depth Comes About (In Humans)

Within humans, depth stems from (and is cultivated by) our ability to make sense of the world we live in. Making sense, or meaning-making, comes from our lived experiences. Typically, the more lived experiences we have, the more we are able to make sense of a wide range of events or circumstances. There's a reason why Viktor Frankl was able to write a book like "Man's Search For Meaning." It's doubtful he would've been able to produce a work of such magnitude without the unbelievably challenging experiences he was forced to face. Yet from those lived experiences comes a beautiful, refined clarity that's formed out of the depth of lived experiences.

While depth comes from accumulating years of life on this earth, not all years are created equal. We still have a role in living intentionally, actively engaging the experiences life brings. If we do not choose this we revert to our default: replacing intentional with accidental, replacing proactive processing with reactive responses.

So, depth comes from years of experience that are processed consciously (and with curiosity), but depth also comes from being exposed to difference. By being exposed and engaging with "the other," the person on the other side of the fence from you, we realize that our perspective, our point of view, is not the only valid view of the world. It teaches us that the other side of the fence has just as much validity as you do, and, in fact, you would likely have seen the world as they do had you grown up on that side of the fence.

In short, depth comes from accumulating life experiences, engaging with a variety of perspectives, experiencing a wide range of cultures, and striving to be curious and intentional amidst the differences.

Our Challenge

Here's our challenge: we are no longer making sense of lived experiences, but rather seen and projected  experiences, experiences that have several layers of interpretation infused in them long before our eyeballs ever consume them.

We have begun substituting lived experiences for seen experiences, exchanging real-life interactions for online-consumerism. This generates a non-interactive pedestal of judgment in place of a dynamic engagement with differing perspectives in real-time.

We've traded a 3-dimensional world for a 2-dimensional screen (and no, this is not an advancement).

Our prerogative today is to turn the tide, to change the momentum, to redirect the energy back towards depth. Towards cultivating, fostering, and developing more individuals of depth, more people who are like the iceberg and less like the socially curated feed.

Seeking And Cultivating Depth

How do we turn this around?

I think it can be as simple as trading up. Trading the lesser for the greater, the surface for the depth, the addiction for the discipline.

Easier said than done, which is why we need good motivation to keep us going.

The motivation can be as simple as examining the fruit. What has been produced by the lack of depth? Higher suicide, depression, anxiety; greater division, animosity, hatred; more bullying, degradation, and inhumane interactions. The list can continue, but we all have experienced these trends. It's not that they are new, it's that they are rapidly on the rise.

With this as our motivation, we can start seeing the necessity for exchanging the greater for the lesser, pursuing depth in place of the perfect social image; exchanging projected experiences for fuller and richer lived experiences; trading the need to be right for the posture of being curious; replacing the assumption that everyone should think like me with the acknowledgement that everyone's experiences are different.

The reason behind the words "seeking" and "cultivating" is that they convey this exchange is a journey. It is a long-term adjustment that will be an on-going process. With the right motivation in place, and with the hope of what can be produced, we can turn this tide. We can seek depth in what we learn, what we see, and what we believe.

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” — Elisabeth Kübler Ross

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Prompts For Seeking Depth:

• Does this add or subtract from my life?

• Is this expanding and enriching myself in a meaningful way?

• Does this broaden or narrow my perspective?

• Does this help me embrace lived experiences vs. seen or projected experiences?

• How can I intentionally expand my "comfort zone?"