Why Focus is Essential in 2025
2025
FOCUS
Margin, where have you gone? What was it like when you showed up each day? When will you come back again?
*Simple, honest questions every new parent ponders.
To be honest, there wasn't much thought or reflection that prompted this year's word. It was born of pure necessity. A tiny, living human is an incredible miracle and an immediately consuming experience. The last two months of 2024 felt like two years of time had passed, and I'm guessing the beginning of grey hair was also kickstarted during that time-warp.
The birth of our beautiful baby girl has been life-changing. It is the single event of my life (sans marriage) where there was a clear before and after. November 2, 2024 is the day that my life changed, and our lives will never be the same... forever.
Isn't that a wild and beautiful thing? Slightly jarring to experience in real-time, and certainly it carries with it aspects of real grief that can be both confusing and challenging to process, yet incredibly beautiful and rich in all it's complexity.
Pardon me, I seem to have gotten sidetracked. What was I saying?
Oh yes, focus.
Focus, focus, focus. Gone are the days of twiddling my thumbs and picking from a myriad of options for what I could be doing. Here are the days of deep breathing and choosing between the myriad of options for what I need to get done, knowing that there isn't enough time in one day for any human currently living to possibly finish all that ideally should be done.
Yes, prioritization and adjusted expectations are the name of the game, yet so is focus. Focus on not just being a task-doer, but a present and fully available partner, father, and friend. Focus on not just getting the right things done, but doing them in a way that is slow (intentionally so), measured, and leaving room for the Spirit to move. Focus not on not just doing what I've done up to this point that has worked or been successful, but focus rather on what new ways of being I can embrace to move beyond where I am now to become what I could be in service of my growing family and growing influence in the world.
Focus.
It feels concise, but doesn't have to be.
There's an essential aspect of de-clutterment (both in mind and physical space) that serves the desired end.
The experience, both internally and externally, must be that of full presence.
The resistance is everywhere and always.
Sounds like fun ;).
Focus.
I remember the feeling and physicality of riding sport bikes through the twisty roads of Arkansas, the clarity that comes from being forced into the zone by the constant exposure to the elements and ever-present feeling of risk when operating those beautiful machines. I think back on the heightened emotions and awareness when standing on the first tee, embarking on a several mile walk across beautifully manicured grass, straining with all I had to best move a tiny white ball hundreds of yards into a hole in the ground, all in front of watching onlookers. I smile as I reflect on standing in a high school gymnasium with two sides of bleachers filled with middle and high school students, all looking for ways to ignore, reject, or make fun of the blonde haired guy giving them a keynote, a reality that was impossible to escape from at any moment during those 45 minutes of full-exposure.
Focus.
What new memories will 2025 create? What new opportunities will there be to flex my focus muscles and expand them through the discomfort of failure or unknown experiences?
Even with writing those questions I sense the subtle presence of fear opening the door to take a peak at those imagined futures. The grounding thought that follows is a common mantra in meditation or mindfulness practices that states: "you have all that you need for this very moment right here and now, so be here."
You have all that you need right now... focus.
Tune the lens of the binoculars to this very moment, stop escaping to the future unknowns or reliving the interpreted past. Quit chasing surface-level distractions and dig your heels into the real meat of this life and your calling as a man. Be more than you were yesterday. Focus.
I can. And I will.
Focus.
2024
Unknown
The whole year really felt unknown in so many ways. From work, to the journey of pregnancy, to imagining what our future might look like, to reimagining family and the relationships we want to build into, to church and what it means to invest and be plugged into a church community, and on and on it goes.
I do think I grew in my comfort with not knowing. I went through my first client breakup, having an agreement terminated suddenly and unexpectedly. I worked with my first government contract and experienced all the nuance and unique challenges of that space. My business generated more than it ever has, yet it also felt more accidental than ever before because specific strategy and goals weren't in place. And ultimately, building something I've never built before comes with a host of imposter-syndrome-esq feelings which seem to almost always be present. Then there's the whole time constraint side of things...
Yet in the midst of all this, I am proud of how I showed up in the unknown. I'm proud of not shying away from, but rather leaning into, that unknown discomfort. One of the aspects I feel most proud of is in becoming more aware of, in-tune with, and (slowly) beginning to communicate the feelings I have with others who are impacted by them.
Growth is another layer of unknown that isn't as immediately obvious, yet growth is what walking forward in the unknown is inherently all about. There seems to be no way to avoid growth in that path. The only way I can think of is to intentionally avoid, deny, or blind yourself to the lessons learned along the way... and I have no doubt that is the common posture or stance most take on. I don't blame them (or me) when that route is chosen. Life is hard, we are all human, compassion is our first response whenever we see our fellow human choose the path of greatest humanity. And, there is more. There has to be more. This life is more than merely defaulting to the path of least resistance.
And all these words, all this talk has been about secondary aspects of this past year. The primary factor in all of 2024 was the growth and expansion of our family! What a wild ride it was. Each step of the process is so unknown and exciting, daunting, terrifying. It's quite surreal to even reflect on it now. Words simply don't suffice.
A fitting place to end is to return to what was projected from the early months of 2024:
sitting with this word now allows me to remember and recenter on what is known and what is within my control now. While the unknown will always remain unknown (“tomorrow,” in essence, will never be more or less knowable than it is today), the present is always knowable and available to be fully embraced. To take it one step further, who I am, what I value, and why I'm here is a compass that can always be accessed. Growing in consistency with the grounding practices that produce confidence in what is known now can help me be more open, optimistic, and flexible with what's to come.
In that vein, I am hopeful for what 2024 will hold, walking forward with open hands to the possibilities that await, and I’m excited to reflect on all that happens during our current lap around the sun.
In looking back it really does seem the key to it all is embracing a day-by-day approach and taking one step at a time. Without that posture, things can quickly build and become out of control in more ways than one. Maybe that's what led to Grey, and maybe that's the deeper message behind her and her name: that mom and dad need a living reminder to lean into the unknown of what life and God has to offer. And, in doing so, there is so much more to be had in it all.
