On Courage:

“Courage is not simply one of the virtues but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” — C.S. Lewis

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How do we know what courage is?

Think back on a heightened moment when you had a choice... an important choice between two opposite directions. To me, it seems there is often the choice you want to make and the choice you know you need to make. This is more felt than intellectually understood, but it is present nonetheless.

Thus enters in the phase where a myriad of justifications begin to arise, enforcing again and again that the choice to make is really the one you want to make. Because, ultimately: “you can't fully trust something that's just a felling.”

... but isn't that what faith is?

Time feels like it's running out, the clock is ticking and a decision is immanent. The pressure mounting. The inner-turmoil shouting. If only there was an escape, a way to evade this difficulty. If only I was wise enough to discern and act with more certainty or confidence. If only I could live a simple life with no hardship or struggle. If only life were easy...

But who am I kidding. Every human knows, at some point or another, that life is not a walk in the park. Life is not ignorant bliss. Life is not fair, and life will not “go your way.”

That's why this tension is inescapable. That's why we have all faced some version of a seemingly impossible choice between two different directions. Since we can't escape or avoid these moments, how do we face them well? What's needed to act honorably, nobly in the face of an immense challenge? What can we lean on? What can we return to?

There are many flavors of tools to be tried, and many have value. Yet there is one that flows from the heart, carrying with it a power, a life-force, that gives us the ability to do what we never thought ourselves capable of doing...

Courage.

Courage is a sneaky term to define. But when it comes to the essence, it's hard to miss.

What is courage?

I think it’s often easier for us to remember or pinpoint cowardice in action than it is courage, when someone shrinks back instead of taking action. We are keenly aware when a person decides to back down, denying and refusing all responsibility, especially for something outside of their control or that doesn't immediately impact them. (This is far easier to see in others than the more common and prevalent occurrences in ourself.)

If you type in “cowardice” to Google, what comes up is: “the lack of bravery.” A longer definition goes like this: “a trait wherein excessive fear prevents an individual from taking a risk or facing danger.”

When it comes to courage, the term can't be as easily defined. Yes, sure there are definitions aplenty that pop up when you google it, but these don't really encapsulate all that the word entails. It's far more than bravery, much more complex than taking risks. It entails facing fears, but it also includes the heart behind those actions and the greater why that motivates the decision.

Courage is complex. It's captivating. And it's especially needed, now and always.

Why am I writing on courage? Because it's the word I need for 2022.

Origins.

The early intrigue behind this notion of courage came to me while reading a novel called Shantaram. This book swept me off my feet and transported me to the cultural wonderment of Bombay, India. It's the story of a man named Lin, a convict who escaped a high-security prison in Australia and found his way to the city of Bombay as a man on the run. The story is captivating and never lost my excitement (which says something given its 900+ pages), and the author's writing is just as mesmerizing and poetic as the adventure of the story itself.

During the experience of reading this book, I kept noticing how moved my heart was by the journey Lin was on and the internal (and external) battles he faced. This struggle was always depicted through beautiful prose, with words painting the portrait of the internal dialogue of Lin's conflicted mind. You see, courage is always unearthed at the intersection of uncertainty and angst; when there isn't a clear “right” answer to choose; when you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders with everything riding on what transpires in the coming moments.

These dilemmas, these crossroads, they are felt, known, and experientially understood by all of us. Even as you've read these scattered thoughts you've inevitably been reminded of at least a few instances where you felt these feels. Whether it was in your childhood, or yesterday at work, that's the thing about courage: it's needed in every stage of life.

Courage is need to stand up for the kid getting bullied on the playground.

Courage is needed to not cheat on the test even if everyone else is doing it.

Courage is needed to travel to a new city far away for college when all your friends are going elsewhere.

Courage is needed to ask out that pretty girl you've been crushing on.

Courage is needed to open up and be vulnerable with someone you deeply care about.

Courage is needed when real life comes knocking and the working-world isn't what you had expected or imagined.

Courage is needed to show up each day living on-purpose instead of just to get by.

Courage is needed to take risks and go down paths that may not end in success.

Courage is needed to not fall prey to the tyranny of the clock and our schedules.

Courage is needed to truly see the other, and not just walk through life with our gaze averted.

Courage is needed to own up to our failings and mistakes, and to take responsibility for our actions.

Courage is needed to fall in love.

Courage is needed to grow beyond where you came from.

Courage is needed to change.

Courage is needed to think for yourself.

Courage is needed...

Courage is needed.

Why.

As you reflect on your youth and the phases of your life, it's obvious to see courage is a necessity for all of us throughout our life. But why? Why does courage matter? What is it about courage that has always and will always be needed?

Life is challenging, and to greater and lesser degrees we all face this challenge daily. Facing a challenge takes strength, it takes energy, it takes resolve. But beyond that it takes courage, especially when it comes to facing the task of challenge each day.

I think there is a portion of our internal world (*bigger than we'd like to admit) that stubbornly refuses to reject our notion that life should be easy, that life should be fun, that life is meant to go our way. Isn't it funny? I'm in that boat too, and even writing it now I find a wry smile creeping over my face. How can I be so naive? How can I hold on to such a wishful fallacy?

I know I'm not alone, I know the belief is in you too. The good news is, there's hope! It isn't all for naught. It isn't a lost cause. It can be redeemed...

Now this is not a religious message, but more of a practical life-on-life idea. And I want to present it as a question:

What if we each committed to living out of a place of courage, daily?

This sounds easier than it is, and no I don't see this as a pithy, thought-provoking question. This is as serious as it gets, and it's extremely personal to me.

You see, living out of a place of courage is somewhat terrifying. It means that those thoughts I have in my head—about engaging with the man on the corner of the street asking for money, about interacting in a human-way with the lady ringing me up at the grocery store even though I'm feeling drained and tired, about really asking my friend how he's feeling instead of passing over it due to discomfort, about being forthcoming with my insecurities especially with others I look up to, about being honest with my emotions and how I'm feeling especially with my partner—these aren't to be avoided or dismissed. These thoughts are the important ones, the thoughts where the rubber meets the road, where the line is drawn between the person we say we are vs. the person we actually show up in the world as.

I guess that's why courage matters so much... because to show up in the world, every day, fully alive and fully yourself (living in your true identity) only happens with courage. Living a life of integrity, of wholeness, only happens with courage. Living a life of impact, true impact (not just influence), takes courage.

This is the terrifying yet beautiful reality of this word and concept: courage. It's attainable by every human being, yet it never just happens.

To bring these thoughts to a close, I want to end with the story of an author who has exemplified courage to me. This man dedicated most of his life to the study and pursuit of religion, philosophy, and knowledge. He grew in esteem and rose to some of the highest ranks of the intellectual order, becoming a respected professor at the Yale Divinity School. Despite having expanded his readership and influence beyond what he may have thought was possible, and despite his own enjoyment of having an elevated platform, he made the unthinkable choice to give up the power, the prestige, the influence, all to move to L’Arche, a community in Canada for those who are disabled. This man is Henri Nouwen, and what he chose to do can only be done with this elusive yet elementary thing we've been talking about here: courage.

The Henri Nouwen Society defines courage this way:

“Courage is a spiritual virtue. The word courage comes from the Latin word cor, which means ‘heart.’ A courageous act is an act coming from the heart. A courageous word is a word arising from the heart. The heart, however, is not just the place where our emotions are located. The heart is the centre of our being, the centre of all thoughts, feelings, passions, and decisions.”

Maybe it is as simple as that? Maybe it really is universal because having a heart is something we all share? Maybe it is at the center of our being. And maybe, just maybe, by returning to that center of our being, we can impact our small corner of this world for good... one day at a time.